A Real New Yorker

Sent via e-mail, by my brother George:

Only those that grew up in NY can understand the meaning of this:

• There is no North and South. It’s ‘Uptown’ or ‘Downtown.’ If You’re really from New York, you have absolutely no concept of where north and south are… and east or west is ‘Cross-Town.’
• You’re 35 years old and don’t have a driver’s license.
• You ride in a subway car with no air conditioning just because there are seats available.
• You take the train home and you know exactly where on the platform the doors will open that will leave you right in front of the exit stairway.
• You know what a ‘regular’ coffee is.
• It’s not Manhattan… it’s the ‘City.’
• You cross the street any where but on the corners and you yell at cars for not respecting your right to do it.
• You move 3,000 miles away, spend 10 years learning the local language and people still know you’re from Brooklyn, Long Island or The Bronx the minute you open your mouth.
• You return after 10 years and the first foods you want are a ‘real’ pizza and a ‘real’ bagel.
• A 500 square foot apartment is large.
• You know the difference between all the different Ray’s Pizzas.
• You are not under mistaken impression that any human being would be able to actually understand P.A. announcement on the subway.
• You wouldn’t bother ordering pizza in any other city.
• You get ready to order dinner every night and must choose from the major food groups which are: Chinese, Italian, Mexican or Indian.
• You’re not the least bit interested in going to Times Square on New Year’s Eve.
• Your internal clock is permanently set to know when alternate side of the street parking regulations is in effect.
• You know what a bodega is.
• Someone bumps into you and you check for your wallet.
• You don’t even notice the lady walking down the road having a perfectly normal conversation with herself.
• You pay ‘only’ $230 a month to park your car.
• You cringe at hearing people pronounce Houston St. like the city in Texas.
• The presidential visit is a major traffic jam, not an honor.
• You can nap on the subway and never miss your stop.
• The deli guy gives you a straw with any beverage you buy, even if it’s a beer.

THAT’S NEW YORK, BABY! YA GOTTA LOVE IT.

IF YOU ARE A TRUE NEW YORKER, SEND THIS TO EVERYONE LIKE YOURSELF.

Spanish version, here: Un neoyorquino de verdad.